July 10, 2024
controlling partner

How To Handle A Controlling Partner

Dealing with a controlling partner can be an extremely challenging and overwhelming experience. It is a situation where one person in the relationship tries to have complete control over their partner’s life and decisions.

This type of behavior can have a profound impact on a person’s self-esteem, confidence, and overall well-being. In order to handle a controlling partner, it is important to understand the dynamics of the relationship and the root causes of their behavior.



This blog post aims to provide a comprehensive guide on how to handle a controlling partner and regain control of your life. Perhaps, you are just starting to notice the signs of control or have been dealing with it for some time, this blog post will provide the information and support you need to help you handle a controlling partner.

Identifying A Controlling Partner: Signs To Look Out For

A controlling partner is an individual who exerts excessive power and control over their romantic partner in a relationship. This type of behavior is characterized by a desire to dominate and control every aspect of the other person’s life, including their thoughts, feelings, and actions.

A controlling partner may have a distorted perception of reality and believe that their behavior is justified because they care about their partner or because they are trying to protect them from harm. However, this type of behavior is not acceptable and can lead to a toxic and abusive relationship.



One of the most common behaviors of a controlling partner is the restriction of their partner’s freedom. They may prevent them from seeing friends and family, limit their access to social media and the internet, or restrict their ability to make their own decisions.

This restricting behavior can in turn lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness for the victim, who is cut off from the support of those closest to them.

A controlling partner may also manipulate their partner by using guilt, shame, or fear to get them to comply with their demands. For example, they may make their partner feel guilty for wanting to spend time with their friends or shame them for their interests and hobbies.



This manipulation can make the victim feel like they are always at fault and that they need to constantly please their partner in order to maintain the relationship.

Another common behavior of a controlling partner is monitoring their partner’s every move. They may check their phone, emails, and social media accounts without permission, or track their location using GPS.

This type of monitoring is intended to keep the victim under constant surveillance and prevent them from making independent decisions.

Controlling partners may also engage in verbal and physical abuse. Verbal abuse can take many forms, including name-calling, belittling, and threatening.

Physical abuse can range from pushing and shoving to more serious acts of violence, such as hitting and choking and this type of behavior can cause serious physical and emotional harm to the victim, who may feel trapped and powerless.

Tips To Handle A Controlling Partner



Identify The Problem

To handle a controlling partner, it’s essential to first identify the problem. Recognize specific behaviors and incidents causing distress to understand the dynamics of the relationship.

Documenting these incidents helps to see patterns and the extent of control and manipulation. After identifying the problem, communicate your feelings and concerns with your partner, expressing your needs and feelings clearly. Good communication is key to resolving relationship issues.

Discuss It With Your Partner

Effective communication is a crucial tool in handling a controlling partner. It allows you to express your feelings, needs, and boundaries, and to work together to resolve any issues in the relationship.



Communication is especially important in situations of control and manipulation, where one person may be trying to dominate the other. By establishing open and honest communication, you can create a healthy and respectful relationship dynamic.

However, to effectively communicate with a controlling partner, choose the right time and place for a calm, private conversation. Be clear and specific about your feelings, needs, and boundaries, and listen actively to your partner. Avoid criticism and blame, and maintain a respectful tone in the conversation.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is another critical aspect of handling a controlling partner. By establishing and communicating clear boundaries, you can create a sense of security and respect in the relationship.



Boundaries help to define what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior and provide a sense of safety and stability. So it’s important to set boundaries and clearly communicate them to your partner while explaining the reasoning behind them.

Consistently enforce your boundaries and be flexible in adjusting them as the relationship evolves. Remember, boundaries are a work in progress, so be open to change when needed.

Consider Couple Therapy

Couple therapy can be an effective way to deal with a controlling partner as it provides a safe and supportive environment for both partners to discuss their relationship issues.

In therapy, couples can work with a trained therapist to identify the root causes of the controlling behavior and develop strategies to address the issue.



Couple therapy can help to improve communication and increase mutual understanding between partners. By establishing clear lines of communication, partners can better understand each other’s perspectives and work towards resolving conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner.

The therapist can also assist in teaching effective coping mechanisms and problem-solving skills to handle future conflicts which can help to reduce the likelihood of controlling behaviors from reoccurring in the future.

Additionally, couple therapy provides a safe and non-judgmental space for partners to express their feelings and emotions which can be especially beneficial for individuals who feel trapped or unable to express their concerns in the relationship.



Handling a controlling partner can be tough, but you have the power to change things. Set boundaries, improve communication, seek support, and reclaim your independence for a happier relationship.

Change takes effort but the rewards are worth it. Identify the root cause, build strategies, and have a relationship based on mutual respect, trust, and love. Be brave, be strong, and never give up. You’re in control of your life and happiness!

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