The best relationships are characterized by how well two individuals can coordinate their interests and daily activities to their mutual satisfaction, and sexual connections are no exception.
Some couples may require sex as frequently as daily, while others may go for weeks without feeling any different. But what if your friends are boasting about how frequently they have sex and you discover that you ad your partner are out of the ordinary when it comes to the frequency with which you both have sex?
How long in a relationship is “too long” to go without having sex? When should you start to worry about it?
Can a relationship survive without sex?
Is sexless marriage growing in popularity? Can a relationship survive without sex or intimacy? The short answer is no, and this piece will explain why closeness is essential for a relationship to thrive.
There are couples who are content to be roommates just, without having sex or any emotional intimacy, but those people don’t care to explore or read posts like this since they are content with the way things are while you are not.
The conclusion for you is that if you or your partner is dissatisfied with how things are between you both, then your relationship cannot survive without sex or intimacy.
Is sex the same as intimacy?
The main issue with discussing sex and intimacy is that you can mistakenly believe these terms to be interchangeable. You now need to understand that they are two distinct entities.
You can have intimacy without having sex, just as you can have sex without having intimacy. Men typically enjoy having sex to feel near or intimate, however, women need to feel safe around you before they feel comfortable having sex.
Simply said, intimacy is the sensation of emotional closeness, which includes a sense of connection and the conviction that you and your partner are on the same page and have each other’s best interests in mind.
Sometimes, many people mistake the desire to feel close to someone for sex, and when they don’t achieve that feeling after having sex, they become disappointed.
You can’t completely disregard sex and expect to have a joyful, intimate, or satisfying relationship because intimacy without sex doesn’t feel great when you’re in a relationship.
Researchers have discovered that when it comes to couples reporting their satisfaction and happiness in their relationship, sex is even more important than money.
However, the research does not prove that having more sex makes you happier; the sweet spot for couples to stay happy and satisfied over the long term is once per week, according to research.
The Basis Of Intimacy
When discussing being truly intimate and emotionally close to your partner, sex is only one small component of a much larger equation.
The issue for most couples is that they try to jump right into the sex without first developing an emotional or intimate connection, so physical intimacy starts with touching your partner more.
Here’s an interesting one: study showed that we touch our phones over 2600 times per day. Apple also reported that users unlock their phones approximately 80 times per day, which equates to approximately 5 times per active hour.
How many times do you touch your partner in an hour? The fact remains that touching is extremely important. It’s more about making the little connections with your partner. Touch is the first step toward having a great sex life and feeling emotionally close.
So how long is too long without sex?
Over 26,000 Americans were examined by the Archives of Sexual Behavior. The participants claimed to have sex 54 times annually, which, when averaged, comes to almost once per week.
The present reports reveal that there are currently fewer sexual contacts between couples than there were in the 1990 survey, which was based on a study of a similar nature.
The participants comprised married, single, dating, and cohabiting individuals as well as married couples. The average number of sexual interactions per year for married couples was also discovered to be slightly lower at 51, or less than once per week, according to the researchers.
You spend a lot of time enjoying intimate time with your partner during the early stage of your relationship. As a result, you have more sex and have it more frequently, which makes your sexual life more enjoyable.
But the level of closeness you share with your partner may decline as the years go by. Less sex than before could result from this.
Now to the main question “How long can you go without sex in your relationship?” in light of this. Remember that the length of time one may go without having sex differs from person to person and according to experts, there isn’t truly a single optimal sexual frequency or quantity that is effective for everyone.
One or two times a week may be sufficient for one couple, while one or two times a month may be good for another. In actuality, a lot depends on the partners, their choices, and the demands of their personal lives.
The Way Forward?
You can be having less sex because you’ve lost interest in your spouse, they keep pissing you off, or it might be a sign of something much more serious. There are occasions when the issue is simply being a parent, being busy, being ill, identifying as asexual, etc.
Even though these may appear to be very minor issues, it is vital to be aware of them so that you can take the necessary actions to address them and prevent them from developing into greater issues in the future.
Therapy is the field that has the most success. A smart place to start with marriage counseling is by visiting a therapist. Marriage counselors are qualified to assist you in identifying the problem or problems in your marriage or sexual relationships and in determining a resolution that will satisfy both of you.
From the outside, therapy may appear to be ineffective, but if your marriage is important to you, you should at least give it a shot. Counseling has been able to save many relationships because both spouses were willing to admit they had a problem.