June 14, 2024

64 Funny Things To Say To A Narcissist

Imagine being engrossed in a chat with your friends, and there’s this one individual who’s seemingly convinced that the spotlight belongs exclusively to them.

They’re busy extolling their virtue while throwing shade at everyone else.

You might start contemplating the perfect humorous retort to put that narcissist in their place.

Below is a compiled collection of 50 witty and funny things to say to a narcissist to bruise their ego.

You know, having a balanced level of self-esteem is quite healthy, but when it comes to narcissists, they tend to take it to a whole new level.

This results in them displaying behaviors that can be quite challenging for those around them.

These behaviors often come from an inflated perception of their own abilities and a constant need for attention.

They are really good at showcasing their achievements and skills while conveniently ignoring the possibility that someone else might be better than them.

In fact, the idea of someone surpassing them is simply unbelievable to them, which inevitably becomes quite exhausting for those who have to deal with them.

To counteract the emotional exhaustion they might have caused you, you might want to consider delivering one or two of these 50 remarks to give their overinflated ego a gentle reality check.


50 Funny Things To  Say To A Narcissist To Shot Down Their Ego


1. Oh, sorry, I must have missed the memo that declared you the ruler of the universe.

2. Want to know who a perfect person is? someone that behaves exactly the opposite of you

3. I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

4. I know my way to Wikipedia, I don’t need your tutorial, Mr. Know-it-all.

5. The ME guy is here, let’s see what he has for us today

6. They say humility is a virtue, but I guess you’re just too virtuous for that.

7. I didn’t know you knew this much but I don’t need you to lecture me right now.

8. I bet you think everyone in the world is looking up to you.

9. I think we should just change the point of the whole discussion and talk about you instead.

10. You’re not impressing us; tell us 2x more about yourself and maybe we’ll be impressed.

11. I don’t have time to feed your ego right now. Could you do that yourself today?

12. You’ve said a lot, you need some hours of rest.

13. You always feel like a giant that’s ten times bigger than everyone, I hope you don’t squash us all with your big foot.

14. Take today off from being an ass please, you can continue tomorrow.

15. Took me a long time to discover that God creates jokes too.

16. Stop wasting your energy and divert it to something profitable instead.

17.  Wondering why you are the way you are, the reason is YOU

18. That sounds interesting, can you tell us another lie?

19. Funny how you think your opinion counts here.

20. I’m sure you feel we have just one person in this room

21. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a superhero? You know, ‘Captain Me’ or ‘Ego Man’?

22. Don’t you ever get tired of divulging your foolery

23. I bet even your shadow is more egotistic than everyone in here.

24. If a car runs the way your mouth runs, the driver will be dead the next minute.

25. Aren’t you considering writing an autobiography since you have the most perfect life in the entire universe?

26. You’re so talented at making everything about you. Is there a class I can take to learn that skill

27. I’m impressed by your ability to turn a simple story into a heroic saga. Have you considered writing fantasy novels?

28. Good day, local celebrity

29. I hope you don’t wake up one day and decide to compete with God.

30. Do you have an assistant just for handling your reflection?

31. Do you ever get tired of carrying around that much awesomeness?

32. I’m working on a stand-up routine – it’s all about living in the shadow of your greatness!

33. Your closet must be full of ‘Narcissist of the Year trophies. Where do you even keep them

34. If I had a dollar for every time you said ‘I,’ I’d probably be your financial advisor.

35. I’ve heard of the butterfly effect, but have you heard of the ‘Narcissist’s Echo’?

36. Your confidence could power a small city. Ever thought of going green?

37. Are you the sun, because you always act like the earth revolves around you

38. Have you considered selling shares of your ego? I hear the market’s booming.

39. I know you always think you’re the best but you’re the only one who thinks so.

40. They’re making a sequel to ‘The Great Gatsby’, it’s called ‘The Greater (Narcissist’s Name).’

41. If ego were calories, you’d be a five-course meal with dessert.

42. We’ll be impressed the moment the sky begins to look UP to you.

43. If anyone could bottle your ego, we’d finally have a solution for world peace.

44. Your shadow must be exhausted from keeping up with your awesomeness.

45. I tried to list all your achievements, but I ran out of paper. Mind if I borrow a notebook?

46. I’ve been studying the stars, and it turns out, they form constellations in the shape of your face

47. Bravo! You’re like a walking, talking highlights reel of your own life.

48. I’ve always thought you’d be perfect for reality TV because they can always use a bit more fiction, right?

49. I’m starting to believe your autobiography will be classified as a work of fantasy.

50. I heard they’re planning to build a monument in your honor, it’ll be called the ‘Ego-tastic Statue’


14 Perfect Responses To A Narcissist To Deflate Their Pomposity

There are also some responses you can give to a narcissist to deflate their ego a little bit after a “Me” monologue.

Perhaps, they tirelessly talk about themselves or their achievement.

For example, if they  just concluded narrating  a story about one of  their achievement, you could respond with one of these:

The Narcissist:

  • …and that was how I got the first position in the whole class.


  • So should we start worshipping you for that?
  • So what should we do now, Bear your surname?
  • Don’t tell me you’re done, I’m still waiting for the punchline.
  • So you got an award for that?
  • Not impressed, you could have done better, maybe become the best-graduating student or something.
  • So you mean you are the first person to (achieve the result)?
  • Okay, I think he’s done, we’re talking about something important earlier, can someone remind me what it is?
  • That’s impressive! I hope one day I’ll be lucky enough to hear the story of how you saved the entire universe.
  • You must have a GPS for finding all those amazing stories about yourself.
  • Hold on, let me grab a notebook. Your life adventures are just too epic to forget.
  • Is there a ‘Narcissist of the Year’ award? Because you’d totally win, hands down.
  • I bet even James Bond would be jealous of your adventures.
  • Your stories should come with popcorn – they’re better than any blockbuster.
  • Your achievements should be taught in schools. The world needs to know.


Remember, the goal is to keep the tone light and playful, rather than confrontational or mean-spirited.

So, there you have it for a list of 50 funny things to say to a narcissist to deflate their ego.

And don’t forget, sometimes the most powerful response is simply silence. Ignoring them can really deflate their ego;

After all, their greatest struggle is not being the sole focus or center of everyone’s attention.

It’s amusing how a lack of attention can be the most effective punishment for their inflated ego.

Additionally, aim to maintain a lighthearted atmosphere while keeping things under control.

Select the responses judiciously, taking into consideration the nature of your relationship with the narcissist.

Exercise caution, especially with those who might react strongly due to their deep aversion to any challenge to their ego.

It’s important to gauge the situation and adjust your approach according to how the individual might respond.

Remember, your safety and well-being come first.

If you sense any hostility or aggression from the narcissist, it’s best to disengage and prioritize your safety over humor.


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