The realization that we will never see someone again will always be difficult to accept, yet life has always been about change, and even the seemingly constant undergoes change. According to common belief, twenty children cannot play for twenty years; some will relocate to different towns, states, and countries, while others will pass away sooner than expected.
Everyone will lose someone close to them at some point in their lives. Life is literally like meeting people only to part ways with them. If, however, someone travels away from your locality, there is always the possibility that you will see them again, but those we will never see again are those who are no more.
However, missing someone is natural, and it is a product of the memories you shared. Missing someone is similar to hoping those memories could be replayed again, but the past will always remain the past, and this is the fact.
When you miss someone you’ll never see or hear from again, perhaps because they died, we are programmed to resist the truth that we will never see them again and start nurturing the false hope that they would one day step in through the door to give us a hug.
This false hope and magical thinking, on the other hand, will not only keep us from seeing things for what they truly are, but will also inhibit us from moving forward from the pain and starting afresh, thereby extending suffering and keeping us in the grieving stage for longer than necessary.
Steps to stop missing someone you will never see again
To truly remove someone from our minds and cease missing them, we must be sincerely intentional about it and take things one step at a time.
As previously stated, emotion can sometimes be deceiving; most people struggle with magical thinking and false hope that the dead will one day rise and walk in; this expectation is what people hold on to that makes it difficult to get over someone they will never see again; therefore, to stop missing someone you will never see again, the first and most important step is acceptance; you must face reality and accept the fact that the person will never return. The day you accept is the day it will begin to matter less.
Feel the Pain
Another thing that might prolong the pain of missing someone you know will never return is trying to suppress the emotion. Suppressing your feelings may cause them to resurface or emerge in a different way, thereby impacting your mental health and even future relationships. Acknowledging and processing your emotions might help you move ahead. If you feel like crying, don’t hold it in; acknowledging your feelings allows the pain of losing them to fade more easily.
Not Alone, Not Lonely
The pain of missing someone you’ll never see again is always the strongest when you’re alone and lonely, and these are the two things you want to avoid for now. Make sure you’re not in a lonely environment and keep yourself busy with exciting things that will easily make you forget the feeling, play games, visit people, go get a bottle of coke at the nearest restaurant, go watch the next football match at the nearest viewing center.
Do Away With Anything That Reminds You of Them
If they are deceased, you should pack their possessions out of sight since, no matter how strong you believe you are, some of those belongings will always make you emotional again when you see them, which will only extend the time it takes to get over them.
Revisit Your Hobby
Think of the things that used to make you happy and go back to them; there are things that you enjoy doing but have abandoned due to new relationships or a change in environment; return to those things and bring back those good memories.
Try New Ones
There are many interesting activities you haven’t tried yet; examine and explore yourself to uncover cool new hobbies that will lift your mood and make time to practice and enjoy them.
Staying alone, lonely, or separating yourself from people will make you depressed; the fact that someone is no longer in your life is not enough reason to throw yourself into indefinite sadness; the fact remains that those you’re missing now came into your life as a stranger; therefore, don’t lock yourself up against new people; instead, allow in some ‘strangers’ and keep the cycle going with joy.
Meditate and Refocus
This can also be another opportunity for you to meditate, refocus and discover yourself, you can leverage on this point of you life to make something meaning ful out of it, most successful people started their journey while they are at their lowest, look inward, you just might discover something that has been there all the while.
Feel lucky and Grateful
Have you though of it that those who passed away are human being just like you and sometimes, you may not in any way be better than them, have you ever have the feeling “what if that happened to me” that’s of course enough reason to feel lucky and grateful and enjoy every passing moments.
Stay More Present in The Moment
Nothing is more pleasant than being in the present moment. you can only stay more in the present by surrendering to the fact that you will never meet them again and staying conscious of your though, if you find yourself going back into the past, get up immediately and do something you can do right noe to make the future better, it may be as little as giving a friend a call to say hi, you’ll both be happy at the end of the call, i promise.
Focus on Other Relationships and Build New Ones
As earlier written, those you’re missing now once came into your life as a complete stranger, even our parents, the only people that may not be complete stranger may be twins or triplet birthed in same day so there are other great relationship in your life right now that you are paying less attention to, you can shift your focus to those relationships and a more beautiful thing is that you can create new ones.
Appreciate Those That Are With You Now
there are many things we unconsciously lost when we count our loses instead of our blessings, some are gone, some are with you and you have the power to attract as many as you wish, isn;t the blessings greater than the losses? appreciate people around, compliment them, make them happy, A quick fact: your happiness can never suffer when you prioritize the happiness of others.
it’s imperative to keep in mind that in this life, people come and go, we meet to part therefore the memories created is what makes life what living and when they are no more there you don’t need to feel bad, Dr Seuss once said
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.
What you should grateful for is the fact that you have the opportunity for that amazing person to be part of your life, be grateful for the sweet memories created and anticipate more exciting relationships coming in future.
Be nice to yourself
Think less of the regrets of the past
Focus on the cool things of the present
And joyfully anticipate good relationships you’d encounter in the future.
Best wishes my friend.