How To Ask Your Ex If She’s Seeing Someone

couple in a new relationship discussing

When you think about the good, bad, rough, and smooth times you had with your ex, you may be compelled to call, apologize, or start looking for ways to get back together. But, of course, things don’t always work that way, so read through to find out whether your ex is seeing someone else.

Should You Ask Your Ex If She’s Seeing Someone?

The simple answer is no, because exes are rarely on good terms after a breakup, and asking her that question may come across as an invasion of privacy given that you are no longer together. However, if you feel you need to know due to reasons best known to you, there are subtle methods to ask that will make it appear more like a normal chat than stalking her.

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Why You May Want To Ask Your Ex If She’s Seeing Someone

There are likely two reasons you might want to know if your ex is seeing someone or lying about seeing someone: to satisfy your curiosity or to make plans to get back together.


To Feed Your Curiosity

There is no need to assign guilt in this situation because human beings tend to be curious. There are times when you just want a magic screen that shows you someone’s whereabouts, their chat, and what they are doing so curiosity is normal to humans.

However, there are times when one needs to check their curiosity in order to escape the danger that comes with unchecked curiosity. For example, all addictions known to man begin with unchecked curiosity, and many individuals have gotten themselves into difficulties as a result of bad curiosity.

In essence, if you’re curious to know if your ex is seeing someone, you may want to reconsider whether the stress is worth it. Ask yourself what you’ll do if you find out, or how it will benefit you. Answering this question honestly will allow you to know if the stress is worth it or not.


To Get Back Together

The second reason you may want to ask your ex such a question is to clear things out and get back together with her. Perhaps because you reflected on the past and realized that you were at fault, or because you’ve given it a second thought and believe she’s too valuable to lose.

It’s normal that as humans, we occasionally do things out of rage or because of the current intensity of our emotions; a good example is a breakup, which you probably regretted and want to resolve in order to continue your love life.

However, before asking your ex out, you should be aware that getting back to an ex is not all be of rose, and the relationship will never be the same as it was when you first met. Perhaps, you initiated the breakup, she has probably lost some trust in you, and even if she agrees to get back together, she will not put all her eggs in one basket because she is afraid you will break up with her again.

Think of it like sitting in a chair; you may feel comfortable the first time, but then after falling and realizing that the chair only has three legs rather than four, you will never be as comfortable as you were the first time though you might still decide to manage it.


How To Find Out If Your Ex Is Seeing Anyone

If you want to settle your doubts or get back with your ex, here are several techniques to find out if she’s already seeing someone.

Leverage On Mutual Friends

Most of the time, you and your ex will have one or two friends in common. If you ask them, they might know the answer to your question; if not, you can ask them to help you keep track of it and keep you informed. To avoid them telling your ex, you should talk to the friends who are closer to you than your ex.

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Check Their Social Media

Why not check her social media for new pictures? Her social media may contain the answer to your question. She may have recently uploaded some photos of herself during new dates there, so checking her social media is another stress-free way.


Chip It In The Convo

If you’re talking to them about something, you may quietly bring it up without her realizing it unless she’s very sensitive. For example, you could say, “Aren’t you going to your man’s place today?” or “it’s getting late, your man will be worried” If she’s still single, she would respond that she doesn’t have a man at the moment.

Be Plain

You might also ask her directly. Here’s a convo example.

You:  I’d like to ask you a question.

She: Alright, what question is it?

You: Are you already seeing someone?

The worst she can say is that it’s none of your business, but she might just be polite enough to give you the right answer, so it’s worth a shot.

Ask Her For A Date

If you don’t want to be direct, you could also ask her if she’d like to go out for a drink when she has some free time. If she is already seeing someone or isn’t interested, she will likely say no. However, if she is still single and still interested in the relationship, she will most likely accept, indicating the relationship is worth bringing back.



The gist of this piece is to simply ask her out if you want to renew your relationship. The worst that can happen is that she declines and that will serve as an answer to your question that she’s seeing someone or is no more interested in the relationship.

However, it’s preferable not to ask if you’re just being curious because we are only hurt by what we see or know. If you find out she’s already seeing someone else or has even slept with someone, it could be too upsetting and cause you to start the healing process for your breakup all over again while she has moved on.

READ MORE

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