May 7, 2024
couple in a new relationship discussing

When to be Exclusive in Dating

Being exclusive is not the same as dating. You can date a few people without being held accountable to anyone. By dating or going on dates, you are simply hanging out and spending time with them to learn more about them.

A date becomes exclusive when there is communication and agreement to begin being committed to each other.


What Does Dating Exclusively Mean

Exclusive dating occurs when the two people in a relationship communicate and agree to begin being committed to each other, also refers to  making things official.


You’ll note that there are two terms that stick out in the definition above: “communicate” and “agree.”


Most relationship problems today begin with a lack of prior agreement and also a lack of communication as the relationship progresses; this is not to say they were not discussing with each other, but rather that they were not discussing the important topics with each other, which could be for a variety of reasons.


One may think, “Why should it be me who brings this up?” and the other may think the same, thus they leave the issues in the hands of assumption.

In reality, proper communication between both partners can solve more than half of the problems we confront in relationships.


Making things formal at the beginning of a relationship is very significant because it demonstrates that both partners want to stop dating around and focus on one another.

This is the stage of a relationship where most people make mistakes by merely assuming and failing to communicate with each other.


After a number of dates, most individuals assume they are already in a relationship and never bother to talk about it until their partner tells them to their face that they aren’t dating after months or even years, causing a lot of avoidable heartbreak.


exclusive dating
But… we aren’t dating bro


Being exclusive necessitates that you discuss it with your spouse and understand how they feel about you; direct communication remains the greatest and most efficient technique to clear the air. Some are with you but are unsure if they want to continue with anything serious; making assumptions in this circumstance may be risky, which is why you should always ask or discuss it and ensure you both agreed to stay committed to each other.


Dating does not automatically imply exclusivity; being exclusive is something that must be explicitly agreed upon. The only time you can say you are in a romantic relationship with someone is when you both have a conversation about your preferences, desires, goals, and feelings about each other and the kind of relationship you both want to build, and you both agree and are on the same page about the relationship.


So, with that out of the way, let’s get to the major question:


How Many Dates Before Exclusivity

When it comes to dating and relationships, deciding to be exclusive is not a numbers game, and there are no set rules, numbers, or formulae to follow because everyone is distinct and unique.

The amount of dates you go on before committing to each other isn’t as significant as how you feel about them or how they make you feel during and after the dates.


When you meet someone, you will definitely know how you feel about them, and after a couple of dates, you will know enough to determine if you want to go into an exclusive relationship with them, you kind of miss them more and hope to see them again, time apart becomes unbearable and you want to know as much about them as possible, when those feelings begin to show up, it may just be time to have the “exclusive” conversation with them.


However, before you begin the conversation, you should be sure the feeling is mutual. you don’t want to  press or force someone to become exclusive with you simply because you have feelings for them, else, you may be setting yourself up for future disappointment.

Ascertain that you both share the same feeling towards each other and allow them the space to decide if they want to be with you or not; do not impose anything on them. Desperation is obviously unpleasant.


Now talking about number of dates that works best before being exclusive, according to business wire, people aiming for a relationship like to take their time to go on a number of dates and build a connection, which is why picking the right type of activity is an important consideration in the date planning process.


communicating dating terms


They also proceed further to state that based on the survey conducted by groupon on 2000 US adults, the respondents indicated that it takes an average of five dates before deciding to exclusively date one specific person.

However, our perfect number will be seven dates. you don’t need to be concerned with what appears normal or walk same path as the majority, simply do what feels right for you while keeping in mind not to rush things.



Making assumptions in the quest to be exclusive as romantic partners is usually the worst way to go, but unfortunately, it is also the most common way people go. To avoid shocks and heartbreaking surprises after months or years into the relationship, make an effort to COMMUNICATE and AGREE.


The same is true for all other aspects of a relationship; communication is essential, and as previously stated, more than half of all relationship problems can be solved if both partners develop the habit of discussing important issues with each other and resolving them together.


Your partner’s unwillingness to discuss important issues with you about the progress of the relationship should already be interpreted as a red flag; if they are genuinely interested in you, they will be happy to talk about the direction of the relationship and how things may progress.


You may want to check out 50 topics to talk about in a new relationship or discover what it could means if a guy asks your age.

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