Being too emotionally attached to your man is similar to putting the key to your happiness in his pocket, which can be a major issue in a relationship because when you are excessively emotionally attached to your boyfriend, it’s easy to feel ignored or find fault and blame him for minor infractions, which is because you expect too much from him. Spending time with your boyfriend is fine, but narrowly focusing on him and revolving your entire life around him can be a huge problem, even to the future of the relationship.
As important as emotional connection is in a relationship, privacy and personal time is also important; after spending a long time together, there is a need for space to recharge and deal with personal matters; this also allows you to miss each other and reflect on the wonderful time time you spent together earlier in the day, as well as anticipate another wonderful time together later that day; and this is also important for the growth of the the relationship.
When this simple spacing mechanism is applied correctly, relationships thrive and become heaven on earth. When it is not incorporated, he may appreciate and compliment your attachment and availability for a while, but that will wear thin in the long run and he may begin to back off or seek something new, which ultimately causes the relationship to fail. This can be attributed to the fact that it is natural for humans to become weary of something they get in excess.
No one wants to be with a smothering lady or one who makes her partner the focus of her life to the point where he becomes an addiction and he has to continually provide more time and attention to satisfy her because it can be so exhausting and frustrating for the man. and In order to keep the relationship healthy and breathable, it’s important to also focus on other aspects of life to maintain balance and not put all of the pressure on the relationship because relationship really is only a part of our lives, not our entire lives.
9 Ways to be Less Emotionally Attached to Your Boyfriend
Here are some things you can do to fix being an emotionally attached girlfriend and to feel at ease in your own space while being away from him.
Fix the Insecurities
Most of the time, when people cling to their partners, it is because they are struggling with issues related to fear, upbringing, or the way previous relationships ended. Do you find yourself being worried about losing him? Do you ever fear that you’ll never find someone like him again? Do you find yourself checking his social media accounts for any odd chick or prospective rival? Do you believe the problem arises from mommy or daddy issues? You may want to write out all of your insecurities and their causes and read them to yourself; this will help you to come to a conscious state, which is a good place to start tackling the problem, after which you can proceed to strengthening your trust in him and begin enjoying the moment rather than overthinking how the future of the relationship may look like.
Work On Your Self Esteem
Insecurities can also be linked to a lack of self-esteem and self-worth. You’ll drive him away if you continue to smother him, therefore you’ll need to improve your self-esteem in order to stop being so dependent. In reality, he can’t repair all of your problems or satisfy all your desires; they’re beyond his ability.
Try to take a step back while you work on yourself so you can feel better about who you are and what you’re worth. Writing down 10 qualities in yourself that you appreciate and then meditating on them is an excellent method to start fixing your low self-esteem. Complimenting yourself and speaking positive phrases about yourself can also help with fixing low self-esteem.
Develop Your Own Circle
Everyone, including you, should have their own private and personal time, but the reason for your clinginess is most likely because you haven’t been able to cultivate an intriguing enough circle to keep you occupied during your time apart. Spending time with yourself and doing things that make you happy, going back to the things that interested you before the relationship, or finding a new pastime are all great ways to start. It takes time to feel at ease in your own circle during your time apart, Doing some fun things on your own will make you realize your worth and your ability to make yourself happy without the help of anyone.
Find Out More About Yourself
I’m sure there are some fascinating facts about yourself that you haven’t known yet. Go on a journey of self-discovery, figure out what those things are, and realize that no one but you will be with you your entire life except you. Learn to make yourself happy so you don’t have to rely on others for happiness; compliment yourself if no one else does; gift yourself if no one else does; enjoy your space and stay positive; people around you, including your boyfriend, will notice your radiant lifestyle and begin to get closer to you as a result.
Pick up a Book
Reading books about self-esteem and self-worth, self-development or self-discovery can also be a great way to kill two birds with one stone. The first part is that it gets you started on your way to becoming a better person in general, and the second part is that it keeps you busy which is a great way to spend some times away from him. Men love busy and productive women, and one of the best ways to stop being idle to the point of suffocating him is to start reading good books you can get your hands on.
Spend Time With Family
Family members are important, and spending quality time with them is the best way to connect and show care for one another. If you’ve been exhausting family time with your boyfriend, make an effort to revert the time back to family and spend more time with them; this is another way to keep yourself busy as well as balance things out so you don’t have to spend the entire time with him.
Take a Course
Develop interest in a certain subject and take an online or offline course on it; it does not have to be a course; it might be going to the gym or taking on a part-time job; and as you become used to spending time away from him, your desire to see him diminishes.
Go Out With Friends
What about the friends you’ve been losing as a result of the relationship? They’re the ones who were probably there for you before you met your boyfriend, so it’s okay to start spending more time with them again, have a long walk together or go on body exercise, do what you all enjoy doing as a friend once again, and keep yourself busy with them sometimes.
Create Some Personal Goal
If you’re used to being all over him, cuddling and touching him, you might want to cut back. Set some personal goals or hobbies that don’t require his approval or compliments, and keep yourself busy to the point where pursuing them keeps you happy that you forget why you need another person so badly. He may subsequently begin to place greater value on your time and the time you spend together as a couple.
Emotional attachment can be unhealthy depending on how serious it becomes, as it makes you afraid of being alone or losing your lover, which strengthens your attachment to him even more. You may start relying on him too much for your happiness in most cases of emotional attachment. But, if you’re already aware of it, that’s a good beginning step!
Begin to concentrate more on yourself; hitting the gym, picking up a new pastime, reading self help books and so on. Start enjoying things on your own or with other friends, and realize that you are not missing out on anything by spending time away from him, and that he is not going to run away or abandon you just because you have some alone time. Also, realize that you don’t need him to breathe, but rather enjoy his company as your man. Another thing to consider is that while you are not with him, you will be far more productive, which will only increase your happiness.
Here is a little trick: If you’re having trouble moving away from him, think about the things you don’t like about him and use those things to distance yourself from him. The goal here isn’t to pick a fight with him, challenge him about his behaviors you don’t like, or hold a grudge against him, but to use those things as a stepping stone to help you move a little further away. Learn to take some time for yourself so you don’t have to be closely connected to him all of the time.
Make sure the time you do spend with him is of good quality and that things end on a positive note, and then take some time off; this will make him miss you and anticipate spending more time with you later, which will benefit both you and your relationship. Eliminate fear and allow things to flow naturally and even if you’re scared of losing him, don’t make it visible to him since what we’re afraid of losing is usually what we lose, and the one with a strong emotional attachment will have a tougher time getting over it.