Could it be that you are so addictively attractive that guys want to be friends with you after a breakup or that they merely want to hurt you more? People behave differently for a variety of reasons, so it’s crucial to determine his precise motive before granting his request for friendship.
When a guy says he just wants to be friends after a romantic relationship, he may be trying to get all of the benefits of the relationship without committing to it. On the contrary, he could be sincere in his intentions to be just friends and there may be nothing else to it.
Here’s the deal, genuine friendship is a two-way street. When your ex says he wants to be friends after a breakup, he most likely wants something from you, and since genuine friendship is a two-way street, you might want to consider what you get in return as well.
In order for you to accurately identify the precise reason why your own ex wants to stay friends after a breakup, this post will examine all potential reasons why a guy might want to be friends and under what circumstances.
10 Possible Reasons Why Guys Want to be Friends After a Breakup
He’s Feeling Guilty
This matters if he was the one to break things off. He is asking to be friends in an effort to make amends for his actions and persuade himself that he is not a bad person. He is aware that he hurt you and did wrong, but he doesn’t want to admit he did something wrong or want to feel bad about himself. They often care more about their own feelings than yours.
He Selfishly Doesn’t Want to Lose you
This is also true for the guys who broke things off; they typically don’t want to let go fully because they want to keep an eye on you or monitor your actions. They are curious about what’s happening with you, and even if they don’t want to be with you, they might not want another person to be.
He’s Afraid of Loneliness
Life after a breakup can be different, and this is especially true when you, as a woman, initiate the breakup. They believe that since you don’t want to continue the relationship, you should, at least, be nice enough to be friends with them until they can find someone else.
He Want to Get Back Together
Additionally, if you initiate the breakup, chances are they are just trying to buy time for you to change your mind by asking to be friends. If you are certain that there is no chance of them getting back together, you may be kind enough to tell them and stop being friends with them in order to set them free so they can move on with their lives because being friends will only make their recovery process take longer.
He Deosn’t Want to Feel he Wasted His Time
This group of guys still wants to be friends because they feel it would be a waste to just break things off and part ways after all the time, effort, and money invested in the relationship. This feeling comes to mind when you start to reflect on the hundreds of hours spent probably chatting and and planning the future.
Want to be Friend with Benefit
He wants to keep the benefits of being in close contact with you, which may include not only physical intimacy but also financial gain or emotional support. This is most likely the most common reason for asking to be friends. It is obviously better to avoid this type of friend because they will hurt you more.
He Cares About Your Emotion
Although the nature of the relationship has changed, there are some gentlemen who still care about you, respect you, and like you enough to want to be in your life as a friend. He may believe that you might be too distraught over the breakup, so he wants to be there to support you if you need it.
He’s Plotting a Revenge
Some people try to stay friends in order to plot revenge against the person who broke up with them. They were aware that if you two remained friends, they would be able to track your whereabouts, keep tabs on you, and indulge their sadistic urges.
Really Want to be Friends
Some innocent guys truly mean to be platonic friends. They don’t have any other goals in mind aside being friends. Perhaps they believe you possess the qualities to be a good friend or they enjoy your company while you were together. They genuinely like you and desire to be part of your life but not romantically. You must be careful not to confuse men with ulterior motives with this group of guys because this case is extremely uncommon.
To Keep You as an Option
Another motive is to keep you as a backup in case the other person they are pursuing disappoints them or things don’t work out for them. The majority of the time, even before the breakup, they were pursuing someone else. Many men desire your friendship in order to have someone with whom to cheat on their new partner. If you don’t want to lower yourself to the level of his side woman, cutting off communication with him is the best course of action in this situation.
When to be Friends With Your Ex
Exes are not bad people and just because you both are not compactible doesn’t make them the worst human on earth. There are still some situations in which it is appropriate to accept their offer to stay friends, but boundaries for being friend with an ex must be established and the most crucial of these is that there should be no physical intimacy else you may get used.
Being friends with an ex can definitely lead to reconciliation, so if you and your ex broke up but you still think things can work out, it’s okay to keep in touch and give them time to change their mind while still being friends.
Romantic relationships don’t always work out, and if you value them or if you have common interests (like a career), you don’t want to end the relationship because you two aren’t a good match. At the very least, they might be able to teach you few things or introduce you to useful individuals. Being friends in this situation is acceptable.
However, if your ex has hurt you, there is no point in remaining friends with him, even if you still love him, as this will only prolong your post-breakup grief. To maintain your emotional health and hasten your recovery, it is best to cut ties with them and avoid them socially.
When Not to be Friends With Your Ex
Given the information above, you should, in general, be aware of or at least get a hint as to why your ex wants to be friends. It is up to you to decide whether you agree, but here are the two most common situations in which it is best not to be friends.
When They Drain You Emotionally
Friends should dry your tears, not start them. Therefore, for the sake of your health, you may want to completely cut off your friendship with your ex if it is emotionally draining and every conversation you have with them leaves you in pain or results in tears.
When You Feel the Hope is False
It’s understandable that you love them and want to return to them, but you don’t need to subject yourself to additional pain and heartbreak by waiting until they introduce you to their new partner. While you hope to reconcile with them, don’t close yourself off to new potential partners, and know when to stop waiting and move on. False hope for reconciliation can delay your healing and recovery.
The reasons for guys want to be friends after a breakup vary and whatever the case, it will always be better to cut ties and move on because staying friends often keeps the person with the broken heart stuck in the false belief that they will get back together. Don’t be friends except in unusual circumstances where you feel you might need them in the future for reasons unrelated to a romantic relationship.
Most of the time, keeping up a friendship with an ex causes unnecessary conflict and ruins the peace and happiness of both parties. Even worse, keeping up a friendship with an ex you’ve had physical contact with won’t be good for your new relationship because no new partner will be happy with that kind of friendship.
Although it’s not impossible but it is really difficult for people to remain platonic friends after an intimate relationship.